When Angels Foster parents Lauren and Scott were considering ways to grow their family, fostering appealed to them for several reasons. There is a great need for safe, loving homes for children and "it’s hard to walk past that once you know about it," explains Scott. They had room in their hearts and their home for a child in need. But mostly, they knew they could create a sense of belonging for children at a critical time in their lives.
The couple sits on the patio of what their first placement, "Little F," calls "The Yellow House." It is painted the color of sunshine and adorned with colorful paper lanterns and streamers. Little F, a three-year-old who has been with them for a year, has come to understand that it is a happy, safe place. Lauren says, "When we are out, she will ask if we are coming back to the yellow house, or tell us she wants to come back to the yellow house when she starts to get tired."
Little F’s fondness for the yellow house is more than a simple matter of good color choice. Lauren and Scott have done a lot to create a sense of belonging for the child, who came to them extremely withdrawn. She was very quiet and clearly traumatized. "She seemed shocked and dazed," Scott says. "The staff at the Polinsky Center told us she was very sad." On Little F’s first day at the yellow house, they all planted flowers in their yard and checked back every day to tend to them and watch them blossom. The couple helped the toddler literally establish roots at their home. Little F was thrilled when flowers began to bloom and cut a bouquet to bring to her birth mother for a Mother’s Day visit.
Lauren and Scott also took photographs of Little F doing everyday activities like brushing her teeth or eating pancakes, then printed them out for her to hang wherever she wanted in the house. The couple says that Little F walked past these photos every day and patted them, sometimes just whizzing by and other times spending more time absorbing the images. She rearranged them frequently. In about a month, Little F behaved like a different child. She laughed and played and felt joy deeply. "When she’s happy, her run turns into a skip, and she jumps and spins around," says Lauren with a laugh. "She always asks if we can do things 'as a family' or 'all together.' She really loves spending time as a unit."
When they are not at the yellow house, the family enjoys "morning adventures," like paddle boarding, rock climbing and hiking. Little F sits at the front of either Lauren or Scott’s paddleboard and sings the theme song to "Moana" at the top of her lungs. When she’s feeling particularly adventurous, she’ll jump back and forth between paddleboards, her life preserver in place to catch her in case she slips.
Lauren and Scott understand that the goal of fostering is a child’s reunification with his or her birth family. They know saying goodbye will be difficult. "It’s okay to be a mess because we’re really proud of what we’ve done," says Lauren. The couple recalls what another foster family shared with them during their Angels Foster Family Network training and certification process. A parent said that each positive experience foster families can provide is like making a deposit in a piggy bank. Throughout the lives of the children, they will have that love in their account and can draw upon it at any time. "That was a very simple metaphor to go back to because it’s so grounding," Scott says. Lauren agrees. "It is hard sometimes, and we know it can’t all be snuggles and tickle fights, but at the end of the day, all we really have to do is ask ourselves what is best for Little F and that helps keep things very simple."
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