When Mark and Marcine first considered fostering young children, they had serious questions. Mark wanted to know what percentage of children fostered with Angels are reunified with their biological families. He and Marcine already had two adult children and didn’t feel they were in a position to adopt. As for Marcine, her big question was how she could bear saying goodbye to children to whom she had grown attached.
The couple decided to attend an information session at Angels and came away feeling like fostering was something they could – and should – do. There was a dire need for foster families and thousands of young children in San Diego who would benefit from time spent in a stable, loving home. At the session, Mark learned that more than two-thirds of infants and toddlers fostered through Angels are reunified with their biological families. “That is the goal and I think it’s the right one if the family is able to,” says Mark, a retired Naval officer. Marcine realized that even if it was difficult to say goodbye to their foster placements, she and Mark will have made a significant difference in the life of a child. That fact tipped the scale.
It has been eight months since Mark and Marcine opened their Poway home to their first placement, a sibling set, “Elsa” and “Freddy,” now four and six years old. The couple says fostering can be challenging, but the changes they have seen in the children have it made it worth the effort. “I was prepared to have trouble with the kids, but they are little angels who love to laugh and play,” says Mark.
Still, it can be taxing. Marcine adds, “It’s hard and emotional and you think you know that, but until you’re in it, you can’t imagine how much you can care.” They both agree fostering is worth it, though. “Fostering is more emotionally challenging than being in the Navy, but it’s also as rewarding,” adds Mark.
The key to their success as foster parents has been providing love and consistency for the children. “Freddy loves structure,” says Mark with a laugh. “He wants to know what time he’s going to wake up, take a shower, eat, who we’re going to visit, and for how long. He likes knowing that we’re dependable, stable, and structure-oriented.”
The couple says they’ve seen an amazing transformation in both children, especially Freddy, who has flourished in his language and expressions. He was quiet when he arrived but is now quite chatty, Mark and Marcine say. Elsa has blossomed as well, learning to apply her natural curiosity and tenacity to her schoolwork.
Fostering has been a challenge, but Marcine and Mark say that the resources available through Angels Foster Family Network make it manageable and rewarding. They say they received excellent training and still have educational opportunities and support groups. “Angels handles all of the interactions with the county so it lets us focus on the kids,” says Mark. They also appreciate their clinical case manager with whom they speak regularly.
The family says they are happy they did not let their initial questions stop them from attending an information session. Some families discover that they are unable to foster; others take the leap, often finding it’s the best thing they’ve ever done. They hope for a positive outcome for their current case and look forward to the opportunity to foster another child or sibling set. “You can’t tell what tomorrow brings,” Marcine says, but they continue to be passionate about fostering and being there for the children.
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