Michele moves quickly about the family room in her new home, bringing baskets of toys and a chilled banana to “Rye-Rye,” a toddler who has been in her care for nearly a year. When Michele lifts her arm to bounce a ball toward Rye-Rye, she reveals a large tattoo: Rye-Rye’s full name – her first name in script and her middle name in block print beneath it. The tattoo is her way of showing that her love for Rye-Rye is permanent, even if their time together may not be. “For me, it was proof of love,” Michele says. “It’s a way of saying I love her unconditionally, even if I have to give her back, my love will still be there.”
Serving as a resource parent had been on Michele’s mind for a long time. She knew it was something she wanted to do – had to do – when the time was right. She had begun entertaining the idea 20 years ago when she graduated from college, but she was young and just getting settled in her adult life. She understood that the little ones in foster care had experienced trauma and needed her to be at her very best. Fostering was a bucket list item for Michele, though, and she was determined to find a way.
By 2020, Michele felt she was in a good position to foster as a single parent. She was emotionally mature and financially secure.
In her career as a tenured faculty member at Grossmont Community College, Michele works as a counselor to first-generation college students. About 10 percent of the students she works with have been in the foster care system or have been fostered informally. Prior to moving to San Diego, Michele was a high school counselor in Los Angeles and says she is able to connect with students from difficult circumstances. Her counseling experience solidified her desire to foster. “I wanted to be able to start even earlier and change someone’s world – someone who the odds are stacked against and could become a statistic. I wanted to say, ‘not on my watch.’ With fostering, I have the capacity to love and change the trajectory of someone’s life,” she says.
Michele has been a resource parent with Angels Foster Family Network for a year and it’s better than she expected. In fact, she was given an opportunity for a promotion at work but declined because it would take time away from what she could devote to Rye-Rye. “She is the joy of my life and worth more than any raise,” she says. The two regularly visit the San Diego Zoo, Sesame Place, Disneyland, and the Birch Aquarium, “to keep her brain stimulated,” Michele adds.
Spending time with Rye-Rye is wonderful. Visits with Rye-Rye’s mother have been rewarding as well. “The system is hard, though,” Michele says. “There are a lot of different agencies who need you to report to them.” It’s worth it, though. “Even in the end if it means heartbreak for me, I can’t think of another relationship that would be worth the tears like this.” She looks at Rye-Rye and smiles. “Here I thought I was going to save a life, but I’ve never had one that changed me so much.”
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