Ashley had a perfect routine with “Greminela,” the toddler who had been in her care for more than a year. They rode bicycles together, fed the ducks, and read story books. The little girl started taking ballet and tap lessons and performed in The Nutcracker. A single woman who works full time, Ashley found an enriching childcare program and was happy with how life with her foster second placement was going. Then the phone rang. It was her Clinical Case Manager at Angels Foster Family Network letting her know that Greminela’s mother had a baby boy coming into the foster care system, and asked if she would be willing to offer him a place in her home.
“I had a lot of hesitation,” Ashley recalls. “I didn’t want the relationship with Greminela to change. ‘Tank’ was younger than my past placements, I didn’t know if I could find daycare for him, and I had to see if I was financially prepared for another child.” Within 48 hours, Ashley was able to work out the logistics, but told Angels she needed a “heart moment” where she would close her eyes and picture what her life should look like. Was it just she and Greminela, or did their home include Tank?
“It took three minutes to decide I would do it,” Ashley said. Then Angels conducted a capacity assessment at which Ashley was asked about her network, resources, and self-care plan. Together they discussed how Ashley would address different scenarios, such as one child reunifying with family before the other. “I was glad we walked through everything,” Ashley says, as Greminela crawls onto her lap holding a toy fish in a frying pan before quickly hopping off and announcing that she was going to hide plastic eggs in the family room filled with toys and games. Ashley smiles and continues, “I got infant equipment overnight and we were ready.”
Driving Ashley’s decision to foster two children was her belief that siblings should be together during their stay in care. She also felt that Greminela and Tank’s mother would have an easier time managing visitation if her children were placed together. Ashley knew she had made the right decision immediately after seeing the children together. “When I picked up Tank at the Polinsky Center, he was really flat. He wouldn’t visually engage or coo,” she remembers. Once Greminela got in on the act, though, things changed dramatically. “She made a noise, then he imitated it, and they started giggling. It was clear as day that they should be together.”
Ashley began fostering because she had love to give and wanted to serve in a maternal role, even if it was outside the structure of having children of her own. Like all Angels resource parents, Ashley is committed to children’s emotional and physical health, which means trying to foster a healthy relationship with the families of their placements. “Greminela is always happy to see her mom and I’ve invited her to dance recitals and birthday parties,” Ashley says. “We are a collective unit. When her mother asked if she could be the one to present her with a bouquet of flowers after her performance, I said ‘absolutely.’”
While the shape of Ashley’s family may shift – children coming into care and reunifying with their families – one thing remains constant: fostering is a way for Ashley to use her big heart to care for infants and toddlers while their families take the time they need to get their lives on track to parent successfully.
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