Stacey’s initial meeting with the parents of her first foster placement was wrought with tension. Baby “Asia” had spent the first week of her life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Tri-City Medical Center before being placed in the temporary care of Stacey, a resource parent with Angels Foster Family Network. When they met Stacey, Asia’s parents were understandably panic-stricken. Their newborn was discharged from the hospital directly into the care of a resource parent, who they feared wanted to take Asia from them forever. “They asked me why I signed up to do this, which was a fair question,” Stacey recalls. “It was a natural question that I’d ask too.”
She replied that she wanted to help Asia by providing a safe place for her to live, and that her happy ending to the story would be the family’s reunification. “I didn’t have a canned answer, but I gave a truthful one: I was not there to adopt their kid and take her away,” she explains. From there, Asia’s parents began to trust Stacey. Visits continued with Asia and her father, but the mother was not as engaged.
That was more than a year ago and, since then, “Kenny” has joined his maternal half-sister sister Asia in Stacey’s care. Stacey is pleased that Asia and Kenny will have time to get to know one another while they are in her care. “It breaks my heart that families are split apart after they’re already in the traumatic situation of being taken away,” she says. “I entered fostering with Angels hoping to keep siblings together.”
On a visit, Asia’s father asked if Stacey would stay in his daughter’s life after he reunified with his daughter. She told him that was up to him. He clarified that it was an invitation. He wanted her to be part of his daughter’s life forever.
Stacey and Asia’s father have formed a bond, and she is rooting for him. “He is so engaged, he never misses a visit when he’s physically able to do so,” she says. “His life is on a positive track, and there is no doubt that he loves her.”
New to fostering babies, Stacey has housed cats and other animals through the Rancho Coastal Humane Society for many years. “I recognize that kids are totally different and I don’t want to compare babies with cats,” she says. But, she says, some of the principles are the same. “You love them while they’re with you and know that when they leave, it’s a happy thing because they are starting the next part of their journey.”
Many Angels resource families remain connected with the children they foster, and Stacey is grateful she will be among them. “I have really bonded with Asia and it gives me great comfort to know that the solid relationship I have built with her family has opened the door for me to be a part of their future lives – her dad thinks of me as Asia’s godmother. I am excited to see Asia continue to grow as a happy, healthy little girl. I am also proud of the work that Asia’s father is doing to be the best dad that he can be -- and Asia’s father always knows he’s got a friend in me.”
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