People often tell Ashley and Nick how lucky “Baby D” is to have them as foster parents. They are very quick to politely reply that no child is lucky to be in the foster care system. “But we are certainly lucky to have him with us,” Ashley says. The toddler has lived with the couple for one year and has grown from being guarded to affectionate. Recently he began placing his head on Nick’s lap and staying close to Ashley in the kitchen. While she’s cooking, Baby D pretends to stir ingredients in a pot next to her. “He’s my little shadow and makes a pretend meal by my side, which is precious,” she says.
As much as Baby D loves his foster mother, Nick is clearly the favorite. “No matter what we’re doing, he will always run to the door when Nick comes home and wants to be with him,” she says, smiling. The couple explains that it is gratifying to watch the toddler learn to trust and connect. Nick loves to toss Baby D in the air and catch him, then cover his face with kisses. The toddler giggles uproariously and sometimes even offers a hug and kiss himself. The family also enjoys walks around the neighborhood, visits to the park, and shopping trips to the grocery store. “The best part of fostering is getting to be a part of his life and early development. It’s really a privilege to be able to watch him grow, change, and learn new things,” Ashley says.
The couple also enjoys a positive relationship with Baby D’s birth family. Nick explains that not only is it rewarding to be a part of Baby D’s development, but it is also gratifying to see how far his parents have come in terms of their relationship and his safety. The couple says that their training at Angels Foster Family Network helped prepare them for a partnership where foster parents and birth families were supported in their efforts to reunify with children placed in foster care. “Last year it was nerve-racking to think about him leaving us,” says Ashley. “Over the past 12 months I think Nick and I have both gained a lot of confidence and hopefulness for his reunification and future well-being.”
Establishing and maintaining positive relationships with birth families was just one of the dozens of educational programs Angels provided during their training and approval process. “The idea of fostering is intimidating, but I didn’t realize how much they offer,” Nick says. “The clinical case manager is on call for us and bends over backwards to help. There are support groups and resources.” Ashley adds that anyone can be a foster parent if they have the space and a little extra time.
That’s not to say fostering is easy. “Everything is out of your control and sometimes there are no clear timelines,” Ashley says. “You have to be selfless and realize that your time, space, and even the food on your plate isn’t really your own anymore.” Toddlers are demanding but it’s worth it, Ashley and Nick say. “You just have to roll with the punches,” Ashley says.
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