Vulnerability and Joy – These Resource Parents Share All the Emotions

Before Shanni and Cameron became parents, they talked about the option of adopting a child. Then they saw their friends fostering and were inspired by their kindness and patience. “It seemed hard, but worth it,” Cameron says. Shanni and Cameron decided to attend an Angels Foster Family Network information session to see if fostering was right for their family.

“It was enlightening to learn how many children there are in the county who need a safe and stable home while their parents are working to get their kids back,” Shanni says. In San Diego County alone, there are approximately 2,500 children in the foster care system, 40% of whom are under five years old. As the couple met other Angels families and learned more about the support they would receive from the agency, they decided to take the leap into fostering.

“People think foster parents are heroes, but they’re just normal people,” Cameron says. What do they all have in common? “Most people move toward comfortability, but foster families are people who choose to move toward the need. And we all feel inadequate and that’s OK.”

Four-year-old Oliver watches TV as Shanni holds their two-month-old, Titus. “Little M,” the family’s first foster placement, naps in her bedroom. Little M, now a toddler, has been with the family for more than a year.

They prepared Oliver for Little M’s arrival as they completed their Angels certification, telling him that “a little friend” would be coming to stay with them for a while. It was a rough few weeks for Oliver as he got used to sharing his parents’ attention and his toys. Little M was also too young to articulate her needs, so she cried often, which Oliver was unaccustomed to as an only child. For a while, he needed to be held a bit more. Cameron says, “Because she was being held, it was like Oliver was reminding us, ‘I’m still here.’“

After a short adjustment period, the two little ones became inseparable friends. “Ollie gets bored without her,” Shanni says. They enjoy walking to the library, playing “store,” and swimming in the pool. But what they love most is building pillow forts and having dance parties to the music of “Pancake Manor.”

“It’s weird to think of a time without her,” Cameron says.

As with every Angels placement, the goal for Little M is for her to reunify with her mother. Visits have been sporadic, but Shanni and Cameron say they connect well with Little M’s mother. “She has been able to open up to us and is very thankful for our role in Little M’s life,” Shanni says.

Though both Shanni and Cameron have degrees in Early Childhood Development, they appreciate having an Angels Clinical Case Manager on call 24/7 to offer expert guidance and trauma-informed care. “Little M hasn’t had a visit in a while with her mom, so we show her pictures to remind her that her mother loves her,” Cameron explains. “Fostering is one of the most difficult things we’ve done, but also the most rewarding. You’re so vulnerable, but it’s such a joy.”