When most people think about serving as a resource family, they worry about how hard it will be to say goodbye to infants and toddlers they’ve fostered. And they’re right to consider this because it is heart wrenching – but it can also be cause for celebration. Children have benefitted from their stay in a stable, loving home while their parents were given time and space to get their lives on track.
Angels Foster Family of the Month Keiz and Aaron celebrate each time one of their six placements has reunified with family. First, Keiz gives the family a book of moments from their child’s life, including photos, footprints, and notes. Then the couple goes out for ice cream with their four children: Tirzah, Ezri, Benji, and Isaac, who range from 6 to 11 years old. Before the holiday season, they make a Christmas tree ornament to remind them of their time with each child. “They are part of our lives and part of our story,” Aaron says.
Still, there’s sorrow. Ten-year old Benji sometimes cries at bedtime in the days following a child’s departure. Keiz says, “We talk about what we miss about them and that it’s OK to be sad. We know that reunification is the goal, so it’s a success when they get to go home.” Keiz says she is very intentional about the language she uses when speaking to her own children – and the families of placements. “I always let parents know that we’re caring for their baby who will be coming home to them,” she says. “My advice is to love that baby but to stay in your lane. Love them as if they’re your own but remember that they usually have families that are working to reunify with them.”
Keiz, Aaron and their children began serving as a resource family with Angels 3 years ago, once their youngest was 3 years old. “We love the idea of coming alongside a family to provide a safe environment for their baby. That way, parents can focus on what they need to do,” Keiz explains. Their placements have ranged from a one-night stay to 11 months. Their sixth placement, “Babe-E,” has been with the family for 4 months. They told Angels that they are best suited for infants, which the agency was happy to accommodate.
The couple has been very pleased with the support provided by Angels. “I appreciated how thorough the training was,” Aaron says of the certification process. “There have been many times when we’ve thought, ‘We learned about that in class’ or ‘They told us that could happen.’ There have been fast-moving reunifications and calls to see if we could take an infant in a few hours, but we felt prepared for these scenarios.”
“Angels has made a system and structure for paperwork so whenever we tell our County social workers that we are with Angels, they always sigh with relief because they know we’ve been prepared,” Aaron adds.
As for reunification, Keiz says that she and Aaron always remind their children that the babies are going home someday. “They know that every time we say goodbye, we celebrate that the babies get to go home to their families. This is just what we do. And they know we’re going out for ice cream because we’re not above a little bribery,” she says lightly.
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