This Resource Family is Answering a Call to Care for Those In Need with Reunification In Mind

When Brandon was in high school, the pretty girl who sat behind him in Algebra class always seemed to know the answers to equations that baffled him. Little did he know that he would someday marry his classmate Lindsey and the two would continue learning and solving problems together.

A few years ago, they had a big decision to make, one that would affect not only them, but their four young children as well. They wanted to foster an infant. “Our Christian faith influences everything we do and for us, fostering was a way for us to answer God’s call to care for those in need,” Lindsey explains. Still, they had questions. How would fostering impact their children? What would it be like to interact with the child’s parents? With their busy schedules, did they have time to provide the level of care a child in foster care needed and deserved?

Lindsey began reading books and listening to podcasts. She researched fostering online and talked to parents who fostered.  Then the couple attended an information session at Angels Foster Family Network and had a chance to hear from resource families who had the same concerns. The clincher for Brandon was learning about the great need for stable, loving homes for infants and toddlers in San Diego. “Once you know, you can’t unknow it,” he says, sitting in the family backyard as his young sons jockey for a position on Lindsey’s lap and Harper, their eight-year-old daughter, runs inside to get a bottle for “Baby J,” the family’s first long-term foster placement. The baby has been with them for one year, after she was born prematurely and spent three months in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Sharp Mary Birch Hospital.

The three little boys, Wyatt, Owen, and Caleb, who are three, five, and six years old respectively, all agree that fostering has been exciting for their family. Harper says she loves having a little sister to play with and read to. 

Lindsey and Brandon are fully pro-reunification and hope Baby J’s mother is able to regain custody of her child. They prepared their children for this outcome by telling them from the onset that they were taking care of Baby J until her family was able to do so. “We always talk about when not if,” says Lindsey.

This approach also proved helpful in establishing trust with Baby J’s mother. Brandon says, “We laid the foundation by letting her know that we weren’t trying to take away her baby. We were just going to love on her for as long as she needs it.” Both Lindsey and Brandon say they are rooting for the mother and hope she is able to meet the benchmarks the County has set for her to regain custody.

Fostering a baby who was born prematurely has required extra medical attention, including a specialist for feeding and reflux. Brandon says Baby J has many different “ologists.” And yet, they make it work. “We had an idea going in that we had to have it all together, but we don’t have to be perfect,” says Lindsey. “And Angels provides so much support with a clinical case manager and support groups.”

Lindsey and Brandon, and their children, are enjoying their fostering experience, and have this advice to share with people considering it. “Ask yourself what your motivation is,” Brandon says. “If your heart is to adopt, fostering is going to be very hard because if your mindset is anything other than reunification, you are going to be creating a lot of tension.”

But, the couple says, if you are in a position to offer a loving home for a young child while his or her parents get their lives on track, fostering is one of the most rewarding experiences a family can have. Brandon says, “I’m thankful Lindsey suggested fostering through Angels. She’s still way smarter than me.”