This Family Won't Let the Fear of Loss Drive Them — "This is Bigger Than Us!" Says Our December Family of the Month

Like many couples, Jennifer and Kyle experienced infertility issues after the birth of their first child, Landon, nine years ago. The couple started looking into ways to grow their family. They considered adoption. They’d heard of fostering, but dismissed it. “We had a lot of preconceived notions about foster care,” says Kyle. What if the birth families were belligerent or dangerous? Would saying goodbye be too hard?

Then they remembered something they read online: Will you let the fear of loss drive you, or will you be driven by the fact that the love and care you give may be the only love and care some of the children ever get in their lives?

The couple decided to attend an information session at Angels Foster Family Network and learned about the dire need for people willing to open their hearts and homes to one of the 4,500 infants and toddlers in the U.S. in need of safe, loving care. “We realized that this was bigger than us,” Kyle says. “We decided right there and then that we were going to break all of the records in getting certified because we wanted to start as soon as we could.”

Jennifer explains that after the family went through the thorough certification process, they received a call that a newborn needed care. They eagerly agreed. Now, the boy they call “Little Man” and their son Landon play together with a toy that makes noises of farm animals, which delights the baby.

Though Angels usually asks families to foster one child or sibling set at a time, Jennifer and Kyle had an unusual situation. Shortly after Little Man was reunified with his birth mother, he returned to the foster care system again. Their family was happy to invite him back to the only other home Little Man had known for the first year of his life.

But by the time Little Man returned, Jennifer and Kyle had already welcomed “Baby Girl,” a petite toddler who enjoys the quieter things in life. She is less interested in the noisy farm animal toy. Baby Girl likes tea parties, where Little Man is more of a monster truck rally kind of boy. He is seven months younger than his foster sister, but Little Man towers over Baby Girl. 

Fostering has helped their son Landon gain a better understanding of different developmental stages and needs. “He is a very empathetic young man,” Kyle explains. Jennifer says her son has improved his communication skills, and can now articulate when he needs his own time and space.

Jennifer and Kyle agree on the importance of maintaining one-on-one time with Landon. On their days together, Kyle and Landon go to the beach or get doughnuts. When it’s a Jennifer and Landon day, the two typically go to Barnes & Noble or other shops.

As for their initial concerns, Jennifer and Kyle say their interactions with Little Man’s birth mother have been very respectful. “She knows we are there to support her,” Kyle says. Since Baby Girl is a fairly new placement, Jennifer and Kyle have not yet had contact with her birth mother, but they are hopeful they will have a positive experience, as they did with Little Man’s mother.

As for saying goodbye to Little Man the first time, it was bittersweet.  “We experienced loss and grief for our family, as well as joy and excitement for theirs,” Jennifer says. “Since Little Man was our first long-term placement, we weren't sure if we should dive right back in or take a break, but we were presented with the opportunity to bring Baby Girl into our home, and it just seemed like the thing to do. There was a need and we could fulfill it.”