A portrait of Melissa and Justin’s family of eight hangs in the living room of their sunny home in San Carlos. Featured are the couple’s three teens: Mati and Amare, who were adopted as infants, and Atsede, who was adopted at 7 years old. On Melissa’s lap is “Kimmy,” a toddler the family fosters through Angels. Standing beside them is Ricardo and his new wife, Mairead.
Ricardo was the first child Melissa and Justin fostered, nearly 20 years ago, when the boy was a teen. As a high school English teacher, Justin noticed that one of his students always arrived early and stayed late on campus. He asked another teacher about Ricardo and learned that the boy was living in a group home. Justin talked to Melissa that night about opening their home to Ricardo and providing him with a loving, stable family structure. She readily agreed.
From an early age, Melissa looked for opportunities to serve children, from visiting orphanages in Mexico with her church youth group to volunteering with underserved youth in Honduras. She remembers her passion sparking in high school when her parents’ marriage broke up. It led her to ask herself what she wanted from a family of her own someday. “The breakup shattered my idea of what the American dream was and made me realize I don’t need a big house, and we’re not here to build a fortress for ourselves,” she explains.
In high school, she and Justin met and fell in love. The couple dated for 4 years before marrying while they were both students at Point Loma Nazarene University – but not before ironing out a few details. Melissa told Justin that she wanted to live in the inner city and grow their family through adoption. They had traveled to Ecuador together and saw the great need for loving families for children, so it didn’t take too much convincing. They spent a few days apart to give this serious contemplation, though. “She was making sure I was in sync,” Justin says. In the end, he says the decision was simple. “We had enough shared experience in service, and at a fundamental level we have the same values.”
Four years after the couple married — when Melissa and Justin were 25 years old — Ricardo joined their family. Two years later, they adopted Amare from Ethiopia when he was 5 months old. Then three years later, they adopted 7-year-old Atsede and 9-month-old Mati, both also from Ethiopia. The road has not always been easy, but the couple has never hesitated to help a child in need. “When you give fully, you receive fully, and there’s a lot of purpose in that,” Melissa says.
“Our life has been shaped by these risks and leaps of faith that we have taken and they are rooted in our beliefs,” Justin says. “And community has been a huge part of our lives,” Melissa adds. The strong sense of community was one of the reasons they decided to foster through Angels. The agency provides ongoing education and training, as well as a host of support groups for resource families. Another reason Melissa and Justin chose Angels is that they liked the idea of helping infants and toddlers form healthy attachments to adults during the critical early years. “We have seen firsthand how trauma can impact children and we want to be there to help babies learn to trust that their needs will be met,” Justin says. “There has been heartache, but also great joy. I’m content with the life we have made and fostering has been a way to live our values.”
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