Serving as a resource family was an easy decision for Bethanie and Devin to make one year ago. They both love children and had two young boys of their own, 2-year-old Asher and 5-year-old Eli. “We have the time and the space, so it would be a waste to be here and not do something to help a child,” Bethanie says.
The two attended an Angels Foster Family Network information session and felt good about the mission. “Everything centered around reunification and everything they said, I agreed with,” Bethanie explains. Devin agrees, adding that he appreciated that “they didn’t sugarcoat anything,” he says. “They had good examples and we met other foster families.”
The family’s first placement was an infant who lived with them for four months before successfully reunifying with a parent. With them now is “Bee,” a toddler who runs around the house holding toy trucks and blocks alongside Asher and Eli. Later they will all jump together in the bounce house in the backyard.
The boys were eager to welcome another child into their home. “From the beginning, we started talking to Eli about how we were going to take care of children while their mommy and daddy could get better,” Devin says. Bethanie adds, “We made it very clear that they weren’t staying forever and Eli misses our first placement, but he also understands.”
During the first month, Bee didn’t engage with the family. “At the start he played by himself, he didn’t cry or ask for food or water,” Bethanie explains. “He didn’t really show us any part of him.” This surprised Bethanie and Devin because they expected the children in their care to immediately feel comfortable and happy to be in a safe, loving environment. Devin says he has always found it easy to relate to children, so he didn’t expect Bee to be so withdrawn.
That changed when Bethanie left for a two-day foster parent conference. When she returned, Bee ran into her arms and would not let her put him down for several hours. “He had grown attached but he didn’t show it,” Bethanie says. Soon after, the family went to a Halloween party at the park. Dressed as Spiderman, Bee had no problem playing with other children costumed as superheroes, ghouls, and Disney characters.
Bee then began sharing what frightened or upset him with Bethanie and Devin, trusting they would protect him. The little boy is terrified of snails and wind chimes. He is also an extremely light sleeper. “It’s tough to try and figure out what is trauma, what are developmental delays, and what is just his personality,” Bethanie says. “It has been a struggle but it’s been worth it.”
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