On the kitchen countertop of Carly and Kyle’s home are two bouquets of flowers. The yellow roses were a gift from the parents of “Little Papa,” a toddler who had been placed with the family for more than a year through Angels Foster Family Network. They were given to the couple at a party celebrating Little Papa’s reunification with his parents. Beside the vase is a large mason jar bursting with white lilies. These were a gift from the mother of the family’s first placement, “Little Red,” who was with them for five weeks. Between the flowers is a picture frame with a photo of Kyle and Little Red, a hand-painted Father’s Day gift from Little Red and his mother. The boy’s mother knew reunification was going to be hard so she also made them a small cross-stitch sampler with Little Papa’s initials.
“Carly is able to establish trust and rapport,” Kyle says. “Little Red’s mother told us that Carly and her mother were the two most important women in her life.” He says this was one of the first things he noticed about Carly when they met while teaching English and doing missionary work in Asia. The women in their American church group and the Asian female students all flocked to Carly for friendship and guidance.
Though Carly is the primary caregiver for the couple’s four children and their foster children, fostering has been a family affair. Before they began working with Angels nearly two years ago, Carly and Kyle discussed serving as a Resource Family with their children: Zoe, 15, Caleb, 14, Noah, 13, and Sophia, 10. Noah jumped at the chance, exclaiming, “Oh yeah, let’s fill out the paperwork today!” The others were equally excited, especially Sophia, who was eager to have a younger “sibling” to care for. “She is both a big sister and a little mama,” Carly says. Even though reunification is the goal with each placement, Caleb often says, “Can’t they just stay with us forever?”
The couple’s children are helpful with the infants and toddlers – and support their mother after the foster children reunify with their parents. “I had no idea how much grief I would experience,” says Carly. It was Zoe who reminded her, “Mom, this is what we signed up for.” Then Zoe asked, “When’s the next one coming?”
The family stays in touch with both little boys and their families. They babysit Little Red and attend family events, even spending the last two Thanksgivings together. When their second placement, Little Papa, recently reunified with his parents, Carly and Kyle hosted a small celebration in the park. Little Papa’s mother told guests that she “wanted so much to hate” the couple, but when she met Carly, she “just felt love, no hate.”
Kyle’s take: “Carly’s secret to success is that she is genuinely interested in other people, listens, asks questions, and really cares.” Sophia agrees, but adds that what makes parents trust Carly is that “she’s a mommy too.”
The family is currently on standby as Little Papa’s parents adjust to life with custody of their son. Carly and Kyle want to make themselves available to support the couple as they move forward in their new home together. “We are rooting for them and know they are going to do their best to provide a safe, stable environment for their son. Once that’s established, we’re ready for our next placement with Angels,” says Carly.
Can you help make a difference?