After working for 20 years as a nurse practitioner at the North County Assessment Center, Lorrie provided physical exams for more than 10,000 children as they entered the foster care system. Then she got to visit with the children after they spent time with stable, loving resource parents. When Lorrie saw the difference fostering could make in the life of a child, she knew she would become a resource parent once she retired.
“Children have an incredible ability to rebound,” Lorrie says. “I remember one infant who was skin and bones, had a flat affect, looked glazed over, like a wet doll. After a few months being nurtured in foster care, she was happy, bright and caught up developmentally.”
As planned, Lorrie began fostering after she retired from nursing and has had six placements in the past five years through Angels Foster Family Network, ranging from placements that lasted from several months to nearly two years. “I knew what I was doing – or so I thought,” she says with a self-deprecating laugh. “I’ve apologized to a lot of foster parents for being a bit of a know-it-all when I was a nurse. Book wise, I knew a lot, but experientially I didn’t, and you don’t really know what it’s like until you do it.” She also says it helps that she has a tight circle of friends who she has been attending church with for 40 years. “People can do this if they’re single like me, but they need a good support system.”
Lorrie knows she is making a positive change in the lives of infants and their families but says serving as a resource parent has helped her too. “This keeps you young and you’re not going to be a hermit,” she says, explaining that fostering involves parent visits and doctor and therapy appointments.
Her current placement “Little Bear” is a busy infant who loves exploring and is on track to be an early walker. For now, he joins Lorrie and her friends twice a week in his stroller. This includes Little Bear’s mother, who is always invited in addition to her regular visits. “I want him to know his mom when he goes home,” she says, grabbing a tissue as she remembers how hard it is to say goodbye when children reunify with their families or are adopted. The toddler who was with Lorrie for two years was the hardest, she says, her eyes tearing.
“I still pine for him,” she says, though Lorrie knows that the goal of fostering is reunification whenever possible. She recently received a text from the mother that included a photo and update about the little boy. Most surprising was the note of thanks that came with the photo, because the mother was initially standoffish toward Lorrie. This was a reminder to Lorrie that fostering is worth the effort. “I thought, alright this is what I’m supposed to do. I’ll be honest, I always say my current placement will be my last, but it never is. Every time I am asked to help care for a child, I do it because I feel called to do this.”
Can you help make a difference?