Lea has been through Marine Corps survival training. She’s served as a pastor, seeing congregants through their toughest challenges. And yet, she says fostering is the toughest thing she’s ever done. Her husband Josh, a cybersecurity expert, is quick to add that being a resource family for young children is also the best thing they’ve done. “Without a doubt,” he says. “We had to learn a lot of new skills, be willing to work on ourselves, and become what the child needs you to be.” Mainly, he says, they learned that loving a child is an intentional action.
Sitting on their cozy backyard couch with a nearby firepit and a lantern hanging from a tree branch, they recall their seven-month journey with “Munch,” a toddler who was recently reunified with her parents. After they became certified resource parents with Angels Foster Family Network, Lea and Josh had two short-term placements. They provided a four-day respite for another family, then fostered a sibling set for 16 days. Then came Munch, a toddler who had been at the Polinsky Children’s Center for a month. The little girl was painfully shy, unwilling to interact with the couple and cried when Lea and Josh tried to engage with her. They decided to open their hearts and home to Munch for as long as she needed.
Lea and Josh had a tough time with Munch at first. Her vocabulary was limited to syllables, and she was unable to communicate what she needed. Munch refused to bathe, even when Lea and Josh got creative and bought a blow-up swimming pool and sprinklers. When Josh’s family introduced themselves to Munch, the toddler cried for two hours. “If we tried to hold her or comfort her, she would struggle like an animal in a trap, terrified,” Josh explains.
“I’ve worked with kids my whole life,” Lea says. “Everyone did exactly what they were supposed to do, kneeling down to Munch’s level, and speaking in a friendly tone. I’ve never seen a reaction like this before. It’s really hard to connect with a child who is actively pushing you away.”
After three weeks, Munch began to trust Lea and Josh. She even started hugging them and slowly began learning full words. “She’s very smart,” Lea says. “She can sing the entire alphabet, she counts to 14, and knows some letters.” Munch finally achieved all her developmental milestones. Jumping was the last one, and proved tough for Munch to meet, so Lea and Josh bought a mini trampoline. Munch is also a big fan of princess dresses and tea parties.
When Josh’s family visited weeks after their first interaction with Munch, they couldn’t believe the difference. “They told us this was a different child,” Josh says. “She was bonding in a healthy way and forming healthy attachments.”
Lea adds, “We watched her blossom into a little person and that was a privilege. It was really hard, then it got really fun. We hope to stay connected with the family and be part of her life forever.”